ValerieDykstra.com

jessica's daily affirmation

This is such a mood lifter for me. What a spirited child. I like her.

deborah's perfume

(Deborah in NC, 2004, 4 years old)
When Winston Churchill was a little boy, his nanny, whom he loved very much, was diligent in making sure he had Bible and school lessons. His learning the Bible was important to her and of course school lessons weren't optional. Little Winston hated math. During one lesson he wailed that if she made him continue to study math he was going to "bow down and worship graven images." I love that story.

This morning I was looking for an article I wrote about five years ago. I didn't find it but I found this reminder of life back in 2005.

Gordon had just returned from his sister's house with Deborah. Aunt Joanne had given Deborah a gift box with six little bottles of perfume. Deborah was in smelly-good heaven. After much deliberation she gave each sister a bottle of perfume. Her joy in giving lasted about five minutes before she began begging and pleading to have her perfume back.

I explained that she had given it away and she couldn't now expect them to give it back. She wailed as though she was in the throes of death. Seeing that she was losing the battle, she wimpered desperately, "I think you want me to go to hell."

something to smile about

a gordon quip

We, as a family, have a tendency to sit right up next to each other in church. I don't know why, nor had I really noticed it until a friend pointed it out. We bunch right up.

Every so often when we sit after singing, Gordon will practically be left with nothing but half a chair. The first time this happened, he leaned over and whispered for us to shuffle down. I was surprised thinking he was saying, "give me some space". I looked quizzically at him. He whispered, "I just want to get my other butt cheek on the chair too."

Bears in a Playground

A Canadian Playground -- Clearlake Manitoba

what says love

These are some answers from 4-8 year old kids asked to define love. There's some good insight here.

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too."

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him to make sure the taste is OK."

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. "

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."

And a few from closer to home:

When Gordon was in grade 5 or 6 he had a pair of purple plaid pants that he loved. A drop of bleach hit them turning them white in that little dot. With a marker, Gordon's mother colored that spot purple every time she washed those pants.

When I was little and sick, I had to sit in a vaporizer mist. I sat in Daddy's lap and he sat in the mist with me because it scared me.

Once I got really sick at the hospital at night. Mama came to the hospital and as she was running in she dropped her keys. She couldn't find them immediately so she just kept running. I was more important than her keys. I found out about it when a man who witnessed it brought the keys to my room.

Once when Gordon's family was on a camping trip things went from bad to worse to worser. After a couple days of rain, Gordon's dad told everyone to get in the car. He packed them up by himself in the rain while everyone else got to sit in the dry car.

Gordon feels loved when I touch him during an argument.

Hannah feels loved when I sew for her.

Rachael feels loved when she know she deserves a bigger discipline than she gets.

Deborah feels loved when she gets taken on dates.

take me out to the ballgame

John Mark is really into sports. I was surprised to learn that Stephanie doesn't particularly like going to baseball and football games. She told me what it's like to go to the games, walking through mud and dirt. It sounded pretty lame and I thought I missed the point. For clarity I asked what it is about the games that she doesn't like. Without hesitating she said, "I can't wear cute shoes."

 

nasty slang

Rachael is in Junior High now. This has brought a few challenges to our home. Last week in a fun-loving way she said "screw you" to a friend. I told her not to say it and she said it didn't mean anything bad. I told her it meant the same thing as "f---you." She said it didn't either.

I guess they went to school the next day and asked what it means. That evening they told me I was wrong. "F--- you" means what it says. "Screw you," means "hump you." This was supposed to comfort me and make me willing to let them say it.

I told them that all those expressions mean the same thing. They were amazed at my ignorance yelling, "Mom, no they don't. Everyone says 'screw you.'"

I countered with, "I don't."

They let out wails of unbelief. I defended with "I know what humping is, I know what the 'f word' is, I know what screwing is; they are all nasty expressions for the same thing. Can we respect sex between a husband and wife enough to call is something besides any of those words?"

Hannah let out an exasperated sigh, "Mom, it's been eight years for you. Things have changed."

"Eight years?," I said.

She said, "YEEESSS! Eight years since Deborah was born. Things have changed."

crabs and tsunamis

When we arrived on the West Coast we spent our first night at a town called White Rock. We walked the beach and the long pier. Deborah and I were holding hands as we walked. She entertained and sought comfort for two fears: giant crabs and tsunamis.(Interesting how just a few years ago we didn't know anything about tsunamis.)

I assured Deborah that it was impossible for a powerful tsunami to hit White Rock because of all the surrounding islands. I told her technology would warn of something like that.

I thought I had effectively comforted her. We walked in silence for a while.

Later she broke the silence with, "Mom, way back there when you said it would be impossible for a tsunami to come while we are on the pier, were you just saying that to make me feel better or did you really mean it?"

Wasn't that an astute question for an 8 year old?

moving mountains

On our holiday we visited a major rock slide, Frank Slide. The slide happened a hundred years ago and still looks like it did back when it buried the town of Frank. Sobering but very fascinating.

I was reading some information about the slide to the kids. I read that the Natives never settled there because they referred to Turtle Mountain, the mountain that "slid", as the "mountain that moves." They called it that long before the devastating rock slide.

Hours after reading to the kids and visiting Frank Slide we were in the throes of the Rocky Mountains. Mountains rose up on both sides of us. Deborah studied the mountains as we drove. Gently she asked, "Mom did the Natives ever say 'this mountain moves' about this mountain?"

roodies

My kids use the word "roody" for a person who is rude. (Up to today I thought the spelling was rudy, but I've been corrected)

Two nights this week, Deborah's best friend slept over. This morning this sign was hanging on her bedroom door:

NO
SISTERS
OR
ROODIES!
ASPECHELY
NO
ROODIES

 

winning at home

We listen to Christian radio in the car and the girls listen to Adventures in Odyssey every night on the Christian station. On this station there are these two-minute clips called Winning at Home with Dan Seaborne. In these little snippets, he gives down-home advice for better family and home life. It's good stuff.

Last night when I tucked Hannah in, I kissed her and was about to leave her room when she shared a Winning at Home slice of advice.

"Mom, Dan Seaborne on Winning at Home said that bedtime, when you're tucking your kids in, is a good time for bonding. He said you should bring me a glass of water, sit on my bed, ask me about my day, talk to me more. He said you shouldn't be in a rush to get it over with."

Thus begins a new journey; my kids preaching at me.

cute kids, silly moms

Kids are cute. Mothers are silly. Mothers smile at the ways their children pronounce, or mispronounce, words. It's one of those things that makes mothers mothers.

When Christopher was little, he couldn't say the L sound. His L's sounded like W's. He was such a wittle cutie. He carried his yewow wasso with him taking wuv and good feewings every where. Until Gordon entered the picture. Gordon began gently tutoring Christopher on luh, luh, luh. All the while I was nearly crying because my baby was about to learn how to pronounce his l's. Soon enough, Christopher grew from a wittle boy to a little boy carrying a yellow lasso. I was secretly annoyed that Gordon had moved Christopher from wittle boyhood to little boyhood.

Once Christopher made me a picture. I bragged and thanked him for the picture of the dinosaur and he replied, "That's not a dinosaur, that's a wizard." His lizard picture was taped to my cupboard door for months and I'd look at it frequently, smile and think, "That's not a dinosaur, that's a wizard."

When I was a young girl of 11 or 12, my toddler nephew was left in my care for a while. I took him for a walk. At each mud puddle, he'd say, "wa-wa" and I'd correct, "wa-ter." After a while we came to a puddle and I absent-mindedly said, "There's more wa-wa." Randy corrected, "wa-ter." I had mixed emotions. I was so pleased that I'd taught him something, yet apprehensive that someone might be mad at me. (My warped thinking goes way back.)

When I was a foster mom, one of my little charges put the emphasis on the last syllable of necklace and she gave it a long A sound too. Instead of nek-les, she said it nek-lace. I always smiled and never corrected her pronunciation.

I hadn't thought about these things until last night when I once again smiled from my head to my toes. Hannah got a devotional book for Christmas and has diligently journaled in it. One of the questions is about verses that give you inspiration or encouragement.

She wanted to share with me all the verses that give her "inSPIREation." I smiled as she she read verses that speak inSPIREation to her wittle, I mean little, heart.

deborah and beeswax

(Deborah on our Florida vacation, 2004)

My girls have a neighbor and friend who lies. Yesterday Deborah and this friend, let's call her Darla, were playing. Darla told Deborah she got an IPod, portable DVD player, cell phone, electric guitar, and some other piece of technology that I can't remember. Deborah was quite intimidated by this.

I suggested that it might not be true, that perhaps Darla got a couple of those things, but I doubted she received all of them.

I asked Deborah if Darla asked her what she got for Christmas. Deborah said yes, and that she had told Darla, "None of your beeswax."

When you're feeling inferior, it's darn easy to be a brat.

new orleans

(Hannah 2000)
Today 10-year-old Hannah asked me about New Orleans and how the rebuilding efforts are going since Hurricane Katrina. In the conversation, she learned that I never liked New Orleans. I told her it seemed dirty and dark to me. Not understanding "dirty and dark," she wanted more details. Unsure how to say it, I said it seemed like there was a lot of bad things happening there.

Hannah replied, "Do you mean the people there say lots of swears?"

deborah and air miles

Last night Deborah was musing about living with Meme if Gordon and I died. In the end she concluded she wouldn't be able to live there, "Because if you died, you wouldn't be around to give me your air miles."

She obviously knows that air miles are needed for us to get to Arkansas.

a young canadian's perspective on the u.s. national anthem

During our visit down south, we heard a group singing the National Anthem on tv. As soon as she heard, "Oh say can you see...." Hannah jerked her head toward me and said, "Are they saying, 'Oh Satan you stink?'"

a flu bug

While in Arkansas, a bug visited the family. It was a short-lived bug (for most of us anyway), but present none-the-less. I didn't realize how little my Hannah knew about flu bugs until one evening when we discussed Pabob's fever and throwing up caused by the "bug."

Hannah was aghast and asked, "He got it from a fly?"

deborah's note

Today our little Bear is at "the cutter." Poor little guy. I had to have him at the neutering joint at 7:30. He was shaking, I don't know if it was his nerves or the cold. He was pitiful.

The girls got their allowance a couple days ago. They live for allowance day and Dollarama. After their Dollarama trip, Deborah had some money left over. She seems to find left over money tormenting. She must spend it or get rid of it.

This morning I found $1.77 on my dresser. On top of the money was this note: "Dear Mom and Dad I Brang you this muny cuz I dont think I need my alowins. Thanck you."

teddy roosevelt

Teddy Roosevelt loved to sing. He was a very good singer with a deep voice.
 
One day he told his friends how he looked forward to heaven because he imagined a great choir there. "There will be 10,000 sopranos, 10,000 altos, and 10,000 tenors. It's going to be tremendous," he told them.

"But Mr. President," someone asked, "what about the basses?"

He replied with a smile, "I'm going to sing bass!"

making hay while the sun shines

This is a busy week for me. My girls are spending the week with Gordon's sister. They've never done this before so we are excited about the opportunity for them. While they are gone, I'm getting tons of stuff done. Yesterday I cleaned Deborah and Hannah's Bedrooms. Deborah has been the untidy one all her life. She wants to save everything. Hannah keeps a tidy room, but woe is he who opens her closet or dresser drawers.

I spent five or six hours on their bedrooms. I cleaned drawers, closets, mirrors, windows, washed walls and floors. I collected two bags of garbage and almost two bags to take to Goodwill. It was an enormously productive day (albeit disgusting at times).

While cleaning I found notes. I love finding notes.

(Hannah, Deborah and Rachael 2002)

 

From Deborah to Hannah, I found:

"I love you I'm glad your my sister and your nise to me. Love Deborah"

After Hannah told Deborah she was ugly, she wrote this note:

"Dear Deborah, I am sorry about the things I told you. I didn't think I would hurt your feelings. I didn't think you would cry. I think you are very very lovely because you are my sister and you are made by God. Love Hannah"

Then I found a note from Hannah and Rachael made for Gordon and me. It is all decorated with camp symbols. It read: "Thank you for paying the money to go to Gull Lake Camp. It was fun. Rachael and I made new friends and loved our cabin leaders. Love, Hannah and Rachael"

I smiled appreciatively at my little girls and their sweet ways.

deborah and raspberries

"Dear Mom Im sorry I went to pic razbures with out your permichun. Will you forgive me cirle yes or no. Love Deborah"

In the lane behind the house, our neighbors have raspberries galore. The girls pick them often, but aren't supposed to go there without telling me their intentions. Deborah went without getting permission and this is the subsequent note.

 

 

scrapbooking

(Rachael, 2004)

I admire those who LOVE scrapbooking. I don't love it. I love looking at my albums, but I consider scrapbooking hard work. Four times I've had to go to the doctor for muscle relaxers after having scrapbooked.

I wish my scrapbooks were wonderfully artistic, but they aren't. They are straight-forward, factual, and less than easy on the eyes.

At any given time, I have six scrapbooks on the go. That may be why I always feel snowed. I've been trying to catch up. I'm always behind.

Today while working on Rachael's album, I ran across this note she gave me several years ago. 

"Dear Mom, I'm sorry but I am running away. You are too harsh on me. Sorry. I am going to Gillian's house. Love, Rachael."

Gillian lives next door. Rachael never ran away. She hand delivered the note to me and we "worked through the problem."

I'm glad I saved the note. It sure reminds me of yesteryear.

 

little eric

(Eric, 2006)

Sunday at Deborah's birthday party, our two-year-old nephew Eric wouldn't keep his clothes on. He spent a good amount of time running around the backyard naked.

At one point he made his way into the house unnoticed. When he came back, he carried next to his naked little body a book that Gordon had bought just the day before.

He lovingly brought the book to his mommy and cracked it open to reveal a green piece of art (scribble) he'd created. Opening the book to his artwork, he proudly proclaimed, "TA-DA."

It was a sweet moment of pure innocence.

road treasures

(Deborah 4 years old)

Our children have been in the car a number of times when my dear husband has stopped on the side of the road to pick up a treasure. He has found -- and brought home -- every size bungee cord imaginable, shovels, hammers, gloves, a picnic blanket, water hose, hamster cage, toys and stuffed animals, even the best clock in our house. Many a treasure can be found on the side of the road.

This habit use to humiliate me. Now, even I watch the side of the road lest I miss a treasure. The two have become one, or something like that. Truthfully, I've only done it a few times and it's always been when others weren't around. Gordon on the other hand has done it lots and isn't ashamed to do it in rush hour traffic.

Today Deborah was admiring my high-priced Precious Moments collection. She was asking the same questions I've answered many times: "Where did this one come from?" "Who gave you this one?" "Which ones do I get when you die?" Then she added a question that revealed way too much about our family. "Mom did you get any of these on the side of the road?"